Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
