note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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