got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
