normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't deserve a penis
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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