Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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