So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
