OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
