Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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