I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
