Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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