question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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