? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
