it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
His nipple licking is glorious
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