If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
