Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
