i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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