Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I cannot find my penis.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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