I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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