I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
