And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
