I'm lost and stupid without you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
