Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
