I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
