Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize