You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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