does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I still have a little drunk in my system
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
God I need to hump something, right now.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
