areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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