Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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