try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
