i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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