shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
