Tell her she can't have a vagina
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
