If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
