Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
