I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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