How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
