It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
