We're facebook friends in real life
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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