I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I will pee on everything he values.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
