it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
