Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize