I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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