i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
