Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
