I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
