I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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