True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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