guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
operation have a gay friend backfired
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
