I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
