would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
