Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
