laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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