Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
