I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
