Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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